This holiday season, I have been thinking about giving–giving of time, love, money, and gifts. At Christmas, I like to shop for gifts for friends and relatives. It’s fun to pick things out that I think others might like. My holiday present-buying this year got me to thinking about why giving can feel good from a psychological perspective.

What does the research say? One finding is that giving stimulates the brain’s pleasure circuits, releasing the same endorphins as during exercise, eating, sex, and getting a massage! Due to some of these physical effects, giving can even be good for your health, as the endorphins related to pleasurable acts like giving can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. Giving can also strengthen our connection to others, which is good for our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Gift-giving (especially at Christmas) is not always all good, however. Sometimes, people go overboard with the quantity or value of the gifts they give, which can make others feel guilty or conflicted and can stimulate feelings of obligation or competition to give similarly extravagant gifts. When people focus on spending and shopping rather than other forms of connection or more meaningful aspects of the holidays, this can also undermine good feelings and be detrimental to mental health.

Gift-giving can also cause issues in parenting–when parents give their children too much, it may prevent kids from working or saving to buy things on their own. Overly generous giving to children can also make it harder for them to learn the value of things. Kids who are given everything they want may not appreciate things as much as those who have to budget and work for special items. And, from a social perspective, people who give their kids or other family members and loved ones extravagant presents may make others who can’t afford to spend feel lacking or even ashamed or resentful.

Like a lot of things, gift-giving needs to be in balance with other priorities and ways of showing caring to the people in our lives. What has been your favorite way to give to others?