June Memories

I’ll be moving soon. Moving always brings up memories. (It’s also a royal pain, but that’s just how it is.) I’ve been looking at a lot of old photos in preparation for packing, as I’d just retrieved some boxes of photo albums I was storing at a friend’s place. I’ve been enjoying looking through the old pictures and thinking about past phases of my life.

June is a month that has brought a lot of good times, but it’s also brought some difficult ones. Two years ago, my mother was in the hospital for all of June (during COVID with no visitors allowed) after she’d collapsed due to her cancer progressing. That was a pretty miserable June for my family. In thinking about that difficult time, I wanted to also think about some of the good moments prior Junes have brought.

I know this kind of post is more personal and may not be that interesting to anyone but me, but I do hope you enjoy my trip down memory lane.

June 1979, “Fifth Grade Day.” This marked the end of the school year. Ah, remember that feeling of excitement and relief when the summer was about to start? Here are some friends playing “crack the whip.”
June 1981. I was on a vacation in Sandbridge, Virginia, with my cousin Megan. Good times on the beach!
Also June 1981. My family and I took a trip to Stone Harbor, New Jersey. Here I am crabbing.
It was all fun and games until we ate the crabs for dinner and I got super sick!
OK, I can’t say for sure this was in June, but it was the summer of 1990, and my good friends Jules and Maureen and I were seeing Ziggy Marley and the B-52s at an outdoor show at Philadelphia’s Mann Music Center, which was a great time.
June 1991 on Mt. Rainier with my then-boyfriend, later husband, Geoff. We were visiting my brother and his wife,
who lived in Seattle for a year. So cool to be in shorts in the snow!
Well, my marriage didn’t last, but it is still nice to think back on our wedding in June 1993.
June 1993, honeymoon on the coast of Spain.
Again, the marriage didn’t last, but I do still have great memories of our trip.
A trip to Niagra Falls, Toronto, and a festival in the Ontario countryside in June 2001.
June 2004 at the Getty in Los Angeles. I was in California to scope out acupuncture schools.
Before I decided to become a psychologist, I had considered becoming an acupuncturist.
Either way, I knew I wanted to go to California for graduate school.
June 2005 at L’Etage bar and restaurant in Philadelphia. My dear friend Mia had thrown me a surprise going-away party, as I was moving to Oakland, California, that summer to start my psychology doctoral studies. That party was awesome!
June 2008. I went to Cincinnati to participate on a panel at a women’s studies conference, and I got to visit my good friend Laurie. Here she is on the bridge between Cincinnati and Kentucky. There was an art festival on the bridge.
My friend Maureen and her husband, Billy, visited the Bay Area in June 2008, and we went to the Pride Parade.
In June 2009 (or maybe it was July?), we had an engagement party for my cousin Jill at Lake Carey, PA.
In June 2009 (or maybe it was July?), we also had an engagement party for my friend Laurie at Lake Carey, PA.
My sweet Nala kitty in June 2012, when I was living in McKinleyville, CA (in Humboldt County).
I had to put her down in July 2012 due to cancer, so these last times with her were special.
Cocktail hour at Lake Carey with my parents in June 2014.
A dance workshop with Kae Montgomery at Desert Dream studio in Santa Cruz, June 2015.
Burger Boogaloo music festival in Oakland with friends Syd and Majid, June 2016.
Performing with Shekinah dance troupe at Don Quixote’s in Felton, CA, June 2016.
Reunion of old friends: Rachel, me, and Mia in Philadelphia, June 2017.
Performing with La-Ti-Da in Marina, CA, June 2018. My first sword performance!
In Denver to see Michael Franté at Red Rocks with my dear friend Cathy, June 2019.
Taping an outdoor performance with Al-Hambra dance troupe in South San Francisco during the COVID pandemic, June 2020.
Celebrating my dad’s birthday at Lake Carey, June 2021.
Cheated a little with this one, as it’s May, not June, 2022! On the roof in Oakland with my dear friend Todd.
June 2022 has been pretty good so far. Here I am with friends in Santa Cruz for a BBQ.

Things I Love About Philadelphia

(In no particular order)

  • The Philadelphia Museum of Art
  • All the red brick in the historic neighborhoods
  • Being out on a summer evening with no jacket because it’s still warm
  • Being able to walk from one end of Center City to the other
  • The cultural diversity
  • Isaiah Zagar’s mosiacs and Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens
  • Clark Park and the big trees and historic houses in the surrounding neighborhood
  • All the great restaurants, many of which are very affordable
  • Vedge restaurant
  • Being close to New York City but not being New York City
  • The character of all the different neighborhoods
  • The way people say “wooder ice”
  • Walking along Kelly Drive in Fairmount Park
  • Tiny alleys full of trinity houses
  • The many beautiful murals (and the Mural Arts Program)
  • The Schuylkill River Trail
  • The Roots (and many other wonderful Philly musicians)
  • So many small music venues
  • All the outdoor beer gardens and pop-ups
  • Spruce Street Harbor Park
  • Many memories
  • Great old friends

… and so much more!

Reclaiming Memories

It was about two years ago that we went into lockdown mode due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In San Francisco, where I have been living since August 2019, lockdown started on the afternoon of March 16th, 2020, and continued until mid May. In the past two years, so many of us have suffered due to fear, losses, illness, political and social unrest, discrimination and violence … The pandemic has been a time unlike any most of us have endured. Although I have not personally lost anyone close to me from COVID, I did lose my mother to cancer in September 2020, and the last few months of her illness were complicated by all the COVID restrictions–she was in the hospital for a month with no visitors allowed, and I had to cancel a trip I had planned in April 2020, which would have been the last time I could have seen her before her health really declined.

It’s easy sometimes to forget just how scary and strange things were two years ago. Somehow, last year’s one-year anniversary of the lockdown didn’t have as big an impact on me. Maybe it was because a year ago, people were starting to feel optimistic about things “getting more back to normal” with vaccines becoming more widely available to the general public. I know I was feeling much more hopeful last spring, when I was able to get fully vaccinated. For me, having kept my social contact pretty limited from March 2020 to spring 2021, vaccination meant feeling comfortable being around larger groups of people, feeling tentatively ready to eat in restaurants (although I mainly chose outdoor dining or takeout even then), and finally believing that the pandemic could get under control.

With the Delta and Omicron variants surging in late 2021 and early 2022, I felt discouraged and worried for my health and the health of those close to me who are more vulnerable; so, I went back to being more cautious. It’s been hard to go backwards. I’m starting to feel more optimistic again now. But, it’s been a long two years.

As I was thinking about this anniversary coming up and all the fear and turmoil I felt in 2020, I thought it would be nice to look through my photos and find some happy memories from mid March in various years “in the before time.” Yes, things were not always great before COVID in many ways–the political unrest, racism, and so many other issues were a part of our world. But I do like to think about some of the ways pre-pandemic life felt different and better. So, here are a few of my pre-COVID March memories.

A visit to Santa Cruz, CA, March 16, 2012. I was still living in Humboldt County at this time, but I had made a trip to Santa Cruz, maybe to visit my friend Steve? I had taken the national professional licensing exam to get my psychologist license a few days earlier in San Francisco, so I am assuming this was all on the same trip. I always loved seeing the sea lions under the Santa Cruz wharf.
Going to see a roller derby match in Santa Cruz. I had been living in Santa Cruz about 8 months, working at University of California, Santa Cruz. I can’t remember if I went solo to this bout or with my friend Patrice. I am sure I had fun either way!
My friend Martin visits from Los Angeles, March 15, 2014. A beach bonfire in Santa Cruz.
Nice times! 🙂
March 17, 2015: The iconic surfer statue at sunset on Santa Cruz’s West Cliff Drive, a beautiful road with a popular walking path overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I miss my walks on West Cliff!
A very happy day–the wedding of my friends Todd and Leesh at Children’s Fairy Land in Oakland, March 21, 2016.
A walk on Seabright Beach in Santa Cruz with Steve, March 11, 2017.
Performing with Shekinah dance troupe, Vino Primo wine bar, Santa Cruz, March 19, 2017.
In Gilroy, CA, with my dear friend Samantha and her great uncle Ted, who is over 100 years old! This was March 11, 2018, when he was 101, going on 102!
Katherine and me performing with La Ti Da dance troupe at Pajaro Grill in Watsonville, CA,
March 24, 2018.
Performing on March 16, 2019 with Shekinah dance troupe at the Crepe Place in Santa Cruz, one of our regular gigs.
Photo by Daev Roehr.

How Do Our Brains Interpret Photos?

Reflections in the Pacific Ocean at the Fitzgerald Marine Reserve in Moss Beach, CA, January 2022.
Photo by Blair Davis.

As you may know if you know me IRL or follow my social media posts, I love photographs. I love taking them. I love looking at them. I love editing them. I love posting them. Today, in thinking about some photos I recently took and in looking at a book on Polaroid photography I just bought, I was wondering about the neuropsychology of photos: What happens in our brain when we look at pictures, and how does this impact how we feel and think about them?

According to a blog post by Scientific American, people all over the world, regardless of cultural differences on how they see the world, experience a similar neuropsychological process when viewing scenes, and when looking at photos. The brain has different areas for visual processing: At the middle of the back of the head is the most primitive visual processing center, which identifies simple forms like lines and the vertical, horizontal, and diagonal edges of contrasting shapes. Other brain regions put together the basic visual forms and also process motion and color. The brain’s orienting network selects important, behaviorally relevant information from all that we see, hear, and touch. This helps us to pay attention to some sights (and other stimuli) while ignoring or paying less attention to others (to adaptively see what may be important to our survival and well-being and to avoid sensory overload).

So, our brains are wired to pay more attention to some visual stimuli. Science tells us that we are visually drawn to scenes with dense lines; busy, criss-crossing lines; and bold, bright, or contrasting colors. From an aesthetic perspective, we often enjoy images containing symmetry, as well as those with a triangular composition of lines and elements. This is one reason why some photographs appear “good,” and others don’t. There are other reasons, of course. But there are certain patterns and colors that are more pleasing to the eye, and this is largely based on neuroscience.

Few would argue that Ansel Adams’ photos are considered beautiful! “The Tetons and the Snake River,” 1942. Notice the flowing triangular composition in this shot.

On the most basic level, photography is a way to document a sight. But many amateur and most professional photographers hope to capture more than simple documentation: Many wish to create something beautiful, memorable, or thought provoking. From an artistic standpoint, how “good” a picture is depends on factors such as technical perfection (e.g., color, sharpness, exposure), composition (e.g., pleasing layout, adheres to conventional rules of composition), and impact (e.g., novelty, beauty, shock value). The emotional and psychological impact of a photo may come from the subject but can also come from our brain’s reaction to beauty (or to horror, pathos, etc.).

A stylized and orderly portrait of a factory worker meant to convey the power and dignity of the working person. Photo, “Power House Mechanic,” by Lewis Hine, 1920.

I could go on about this topic, but several others have “said it better” than I feel I could, so I refer you to several blog posts by photographer and neuropsychologist Adam Brocket: “The Neuroscience Behind Vision, Photography, and Cameras” and “How Photography Impacts the Psychology of Attention and Visual Processing.” I will also include some famous and beautiful photos for your viewing enjoyment. You’re welcome!

This famous photo, “Migrant Mother,” by Dorothea Lange in 1936, is a good example of how a skilled photographer can capture beauty in a scene that is meant to call attention to a social problem (in this case, the poverty of migrants during the Great Depression).
An image with ghostly beauty: Imogen Cunningham’s “Forrest in France,” 1960, Fenimore Art Museum Archive.
Probably the most famous National Geographic photo of all time, and with good reason. Steve McCurry’s “Afghan Girl,” 1984.

The Psychology of Our Favorite Songs

Still from “The Killing Moon” video, Echo and the Bunnymen, 1984.

Today, one of my favorite songs, “The Killing Moon” by Echo and the Bunnymen, was playing on Spotify. Something about that song just feels so right. It hits me in a way that is hard to describe–it makes me feel both relaxed and stimulated all at once. Noticing the feeling that this song, plus other songs I love, gives me made me wonder about the psychology of our favorite songs: Why do we love the songs we do?

Lucky for me, researchers of the University of Michigan researched why we can listen to our favorite songs over and over without getting bored. The researchers had 204 participants fill out a questionnaire about their experience with favorite songs. About 86% of people studied reported listening to their favorite song daily or several times a week. 43% of those who listened to it each day said they played it at least three times a day, and 60% listened to the song several times in a row. Interestingly, when people said that the song generated mixed emotions, “a bittersweet feeling,” they played the song more.

Image by Vu Huang.

These psychologists explained that we listen to certain songs repeatedly because they activate the reward system in our brain, releasing dopamine and generating a kind of addictive process. Since certain songs make us feel good, we want to listen to them again and again. In a different study at McGill University, researchers found that when we know a song very well, an intense discharge of dopamine occurs in our brain when we anticipate certain parts of the song. And, a study conducted at the Wake Forest School of Medicine showed that our brain reacts as a whole to a favorite song; this does not happen when we listen to music we do not like. Well-loved songs make our brain light up all over, showing greater connectivity. An area that is particularly active when we listen to our fave tunes is the precuneus, an area of ​​the upper parietal lobe that is related to episodic memory, visuospatial processing, reflections on oneself, and self-consciousness.

I find all this so interesting. It just goes to show that favorite songs stimulate a very different brain process than other tunes. But, whether or not you care about why this happens, I’m sure you’ll agree that the feeling we get from our best-loved music is pretty cool.

References

Conrad, F., et al. (2018). Extreme re-listening: Songs people love . . . and continue to love. Psychology of Music

Delgado, J. Why do we listen repeatedly to our favorite songs? Accessed at https://psychology-spot.com/favorite-song-favorite-music/ on December 12, 2021.

Salimpoor, V. N., et al. (2011). Anatomically distinct dopamine release during anticipating and experience of peak emotion to music. Nature Neuroscience, 14, 257–262.

Wilkins, R. W. et. Al. (2014) Network Science and the Effects of Music Preference on Functional Brain Connectivity: From Beethoven to Eminem. Scientific Reports, 4, 6130.

Things I Love About San Francisco

Mosaic stairs at 16th Avenue, with view of the Sunset District, San Francisco, and the Pacific Ocean, October 2019

Today, my thoughts are on the beautiful San Francisco Bay Area, where I have been living since August 2019, after living in Humboldt County from 2010 to 2012 and in Santa Cruz from 2012 to 2019. Unfortunately, I moved to San Francisco less than a year before the COVID pandemic hit, so I haven’t been able to enjoy it as much as I would have otherwise. But, even so, there are so many things to love and appreciate about this gorgeous and unique place, and as Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I am trying to cultivate thought of gratitude for the good things.

I lived in the Bay Area previously, from 2005 to 2010. I had moved to Oakland from Philadelphia to start graduate school when I was in my mid-30s and full of hopes and dreams. Some of those dreams came true, and some did not. But after a period of adjustment to the many ways the Bay Area is different from the East Coast, I came to love my new home city.

It’s been interesting to be back in the Bay Area after I had been away for 9 years and living in SF instead of my more familiar stomping grounds in Oakland. San Francisco is a lot different than Oakland, even though they are only about 10 miles apart. It’s hard to sum up all the differences, but a few include that Oakland is more spread out, with many neighborhoods, some with a suburban feel, connected by freeways, and San Francisco is more dense; Oakland is more racially and ethnically diverse than SF (although SF is also very diverse); Oakland has about half the population of SF; Oakland is warmer and sunnier (especially in the summer); Oakland is slightly less crazy expensive than SF (although, both are not cheap!); and SF has more widely known tourist attractions and sights.

I miss living in Oakland! But I have come to love San Francisco for its beautiful beaches and parks, all the amazing views from the many hills, the culture, the history, and the relative ease of getting around by transit or Lyft compared with Oakland.

View of the Golden Gate Bridge from the Legion of Honor, October 2019.

So, a few things I love …

  • The light–there is something about the way the sky lights up when the sun is out that is unlike the light any place else I have been.
  • The museums: The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and the DeYoung Museum are my favorites, but there are many others.
  • The hidden staircases all over the city. It’s a city of hills, so the fact that there are lot of staircases makes sense. And some of them have been decorated with gorgeous mosaic tiles!
  • The murals and street art. There is so much cool art everywhere! And so many public art programs! A few are the Bay Area Mural Project, the Clarion Alley Mural Project, the San Francisco Arts Commission, the San Francisco Giants’ Resilient SF Mural Project, Balmy Alley, and Paint the Void.
  • The Pacific Ocean and Ocean Beach. I love the ocean! I love the beach! However, I didn’t realize how much I love these things when I lived on the East Coast. Even though there are many beautiful East Coast beaches, those beaches don’t have the mild Bay Area weather that makes it pleasant to walk on the beach most of the year without being hot and sticky or freezing.
  • The plethora of fabulous Asian food. The Bay Area, home to many Asian Americans and Asian immigrants, has hundreds of restaurants serving delicious Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Korean, Burmese, and Indian food (and probably other cuisines I have forgotten). I could probably eat dim sum every day without getting tired of it!
  • The politics. I am a liberal, and San Francisco is one of the most liberal cities in the United States. The politics here and their impact are not perfect, but I do value the liberal beliefs and attitudes of SF.
  • Being able to get to a gorgeous park, forest, beach, or trail within minutes.
  • The Mediterranean climate. I don’t love the summer fog along the coast, but I will take that when we also get warm and sunny falls, winters, and springs.
  • The creativity. From art to tech to food to fashion to dance, the Bay Area has a lot of creative types. True, many of the artists have been priced out due to the super high rents and insanely high prices to buy property, but there is still a wealth of creative thinkers here.

There is a lot more, but this list sums up some of my favorite things. I may not be here forever, so I will reflect on all that I love and enjoy it while I can. Life is short.

Ocean Beach dunes, March 2020.
The Legion of Honor museum, October, 2019.
Windmill in Golden Gate Park, March 2020.
In front of a Warhol painting at the SF MoMa, September 2019.

Celebrities of San Francisco

I have started working in the office two days a week after a year and a half of working at home because of COVID-19. It’s weird being back in the office, even if it is only 2 out of 5 work days! But that’s not the point of this post. The point is, I was wondering about which famous artists and musicians were born in and/or have lived in San Francisco. I am aware of a few, but I realized I have never researched this question, and I am sure there are many more than I knew about.

One thing that sparked this question for me (and explains why I mentioned working in the office again) was when I was commuting home after work last week (I take the bus, and my stop is on Haight Street), I was standing in front of a shop window that has a jewelry display. Some of the necklaces in the window are on stands, and the shop owner had put large photos of Janis Joplin’s face on some of them. A 20-something woman and her friend walked by, and the woman sneered, “Hah–they put some random woman’s face on that necklace!!” Her friend laughed, and I wanted to slap my palm against my forehead, seeing two young people who didn’t recognize/know about Janis Joplin! As I said, this got me to thinking about famous people who have lived in SF. Janis was not from here (she was from Port Arthur, Texas), but she did live in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood in the ’60s.

This post contains some I already knew of, and others I didn’t. I am learning about some of these famous San Franciscans right now, as I write this post! Learn along with me!

Bruce Lee

Most people don’t know that Bruce Lee, one of the most famous martial artists in history, was born in San Francisco’s famous Chinatown. He was born there in 1940. His parents were from Hong Kong and moved back there with Bruce when he was 3 months old.

Ansel Adams

Iconic landscape photographer and conservationist Ansel Adams was born in the Western Addition neighborhood of San Francisco in 1902. His family also owned a house in the Sea Cliff neighborhood. Four-year-old Ansel Adams was injured in an aftershock of the great 1906 earthquake, breaking his nose when he was jolted into a wall.

Linda Ronstadt

Famous singer Linda Ronstadt was born in Arizona and lived in Los Angeles during her early career. She moved to San Francisco in the ’80s, then back to Tucson in the late ’90s, then back to San Francisco again in the early 2000s. When I was looking for an apartment in SF 2 years ago, I saw one that is across the street from where the singer now lives.

Danny Glover

Actor Danny Glover was born in San Francisco, attending school in the Richmond District. He also went to college at San Francisco State University.

Courtney Love

Grunge rock musician Courtney Love was born in San Francisco in 1964. She spent her early years in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood, until moving to Oregon with her mother after her parents divorced in 1970. Love briefly moved back to San Francisco in the mid-’80s to pursue her music career and also attended the San Francisco Art Institute to study film and theater.

Rube Goldberg

Reuben Garrett Lucius Goldberg, known best as Rube Goldberg, a cartoonist, sculptor, author, engineer, and inventor, was born in San Francisco in 1883. He is most famous for his popular cartoons depicting complicated gadgets (“Goldberg machines”) performing simple tasks in indirect, convoluted ways.

Wayne Thiebaud

“Three Machines” by Wayne Thiebaud, on display in the DeYoung Museum in San Francisco. Thiebaud was born in SF in 1920.

Dorthea Lange

Iconic photographer Dorothea Lange was born in Hoboken, New Jersey, but moved to San Francisco in 1918. In 1945, she was invited by Ansel Adams to teach at the first fine art photography department at the California School of Fine Arts, now known as San Francisco Art Institute.

Margaret Cho

Comedian Margaret Cho was born in San Francisco in 1968 (same age as me!). She attended San Francisco State University.

There are so many others! Actors either born in or who lived in San Francisco include Lisa Bonet, Benjamin Bratt, Ellen DeGeneres, Clint Eastwood, Tom Hanks, Cheech Marin, Rob Schneider, Alicia Silverstone, Sharon Stone, Robin Williams, Ali Wong, and Natalie Wood. Isadora Duncan, the classic dancer, was born in San Francisco. Filmmakers who were either from or lived in SF include Francis Coppola, Sofia Coppola, George Lucas, and Wayne Wang. A lot of the musicians/bands attributed to San Francisco were not ones I had heard of, but I have heard of 4 Non Blondes, Tracy Chapman, The Charlatans, Counting Crows, Dead Kennedys, Faith No More, Flamin’ Groovies, Michael Franti, the Grateful Dead, Vince Guaraldi, Sammy Hagar, Chris Isaak, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Journey, Kronos Quartet, Huey Lewis, Johnny Mathis, Bobby McFerrin, the Melvins, Metallica, Moby, the Mummies, Graham Nash, Dan the Automator (Dan Nakamura), Liz Phair, Carlos Santana, Sly Stone, and Sid Vicious.

It’s such a creative city. Of course, the super-expensive cost of living is driving a lot of artists away from the Bay Area. It’s a shame that it’s tough for so many to make it here.

Well, I learned a lot. I hope you did, too!

The Psychology of Social Media

social media logos

I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon related to social media: People make assumptions about others based on their posts. Nothing surprising about that, and I am certainly not the first or only person to make this observation. After all, social media is a way to share with others in a public way. So, it makes sense that we look at what others are posting and make assumptions. And, this phenomenon has been widely studied.

Why am I writing about this, you might ask? One reason is that as a psychologist providing mental health services to college students, I frequently hear about how making assumptions about social media can be damaging. The main reason is because of a psychological concept called social comparison theory. This theory posits that people constantly evaluate themselves and others in areas such as success, attractiveness, wealth, and intelligence. They typically make these evaluations about themselves by looking at others and what they perceive about them. People see others’ photos (which are often altered) and feel less attractive than that person. Folks read others’ posts about going to exclusive events, buying homes, going on vacations, their kids winning awards, getting promotions, and feel inadequate in comparison. And studies show that the more one uses social media, the more likely they are to feel down about themselves.

It’s important to remember that while there is some truth to what you are reading or seeing (hopefully, unless all your social media friends are pathological liars), it’s a carefully chosen and curated truth. And, as noted earlier, it may be a heavily edited and beautified truth. Your friend may not have teeth that straight and white, skin that clear, a waistline that slim but just appears so due to the magic of phone filters and PhotoShop. And while it’s true that your friend probably did go on that tropical vacation or get that promotion, they also had days when they felt sad, lonely, inadequate … days when they fought with their partner, the kid had a tantrum, they couldn’t pay all the bills, they sat on the couch consuming a whole bag of potato chips and feeling crappy about their life. Most people are not posting about all the bad stuff.

Well, some people do post about the bad days, pet peeves, and struggles. And some do not. This brings me to the second reason I was thinking about social comparison theory and social media: Sometimes my social media friends make comments on my posts such as “Wow, you look like you’re doing great!” or “Glad to see how happy you are!!” I always have mixed feelings about comments such as these. On the one hand, I chose to post a photo of myself on a beautiful hike or at a gathering of smiling friends. I chose to highlight something interesting, fun, or happy that I did. So, why should anyone assume I’m not loving life? I guess the other side of the coin is that even though I often choose not to post about my struggles, I’ve had many, especially in the past few years, and it’s hard when others assume I haven’t.

So, when you’re scrolling the ‘Gram or looking at Facebook and starting to feel like your life sucks compared with your friends’ lives (or even worse, you’re comparing yourself to celebs and influencers), just remember that you’re only seeing part of the story. We all have our joys and struggles–even celebrities! It’s best to try to get away from comparing yourself to others, especially if you come up short. Unless it’s a way to help yourself grow and move forward, of course. A little comparison, with some honest and constructive self-reflection, can be helpful. But only to a point. Be kind to yourself! And consider cutting back on your social media time if it’s contributing to feeling down on yourself.

And remember that your friends are having good and bad days, too. They may be posting about all of it, or they may be choosing to only show the highlights. So, don’t assume. And be kind in the assumptions you make about your friends–you may not know about all the struggles that are going un-posted.

Summer of Soul: A Nostalgic Musical Journey

I recently watched the documentary Summer of Soul (… or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised), directed by Ahmir (Questlove) Thompson, of Philadelphia band The Roots. Questlove is also a DJ, record producer, and author, among other things–the man seems to have endless talent and energy. If you haven’t seen Summer of Soul yet, do yourself a favor and watch it. (It can be seen in theaters and on Hulu.)

Summer of Soul is about the Harlem Cultural Festival of 1969, which consisted of a series of six outdoor summer concerts in Mount Morris Park (now Marcus Garvey Park), drawing more than 300,000 audience members. Singer Tony Lawrence organized the festival, and it was filmed by television producer Hal Tulchin. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s because the festival footage sat in a basement, largely unseen, until now. Was it just forgotten due to being overshadowed by Woodstock, which happened the same summer, or purposely hidden? Questlove intersperses interviews with concert footage that puts the music in the social and political context of the day and celebrates the power and joy of the performances.

“Me being a DJ is exactly what informed me on how to tell this story,” Questlove said in a virtual press conference for the film. “This isn’t the only story out there. Probably the most shocking thing that I’ve learned in the last month is that there’s about six to seven others. Maybe this film can be an entry, sort of a sea change for these stories to finally get out [and] really for us to acknowledge that … one of the first-ever Black festivals is important to our history.” 

You will be treated to never-before-seen concert performances by Stevie Wonder, Nina Simone, Sly & the Family Stone, Gladys Knight & the Pips, B.B. King, Mahalia Jackson, and more. The festival celebrated African American music and culture and promoted Black pride and unity. The documentary was released to rave reviews at Sundance, where it won both the grand jury prize and audience award and subsequently sold for more than $12 million, the biggest price tag for a documentary in Sundance’s history.

For me, the music brought back memories of my childhood in the early 1970s. As a white child growing up in rural Pennsylvania, I didn’t understand much about what was going on in America at the time, nor did I grasp the cultural significance of the music. Today, I see this music and these memories from a different perspective. It’s wonderful that Questlove made this film, which shines a long-overdue light on a groundbreaking musical event and celebrates Black history and culture.

Hipsters Over Time

When I was in my late 20s and early 30s, living in Philadelphia, I fancied myself a hipster. Whether I was one or not and whether this was a desirable thing, that was how I saw myself. I no longer do. Not only that, but the trappings of hipsters have changed over time, so, to be honest, I was a little fuzzy on what it currently means to be a hipster and had to Google a bit!

When I think of hipsters in the ’90s, I think of indie music, ratty jeans, ironic t-shirts, Pabst Blue Ribbon, tattoos, messenger bags, and an aloof attitude. The hipster subculture of that era, of which I tried to be a part, was equal parts “cooler than thou” (evidenced by knowledge of obscure films, preferences for obscure music, and shunning of pop–unless it was embraced ironically) and anti-capitalist. Hipsters followed a do-it-yourself ethos, feminist and liberal politics, and intellectualism. They also tried to co-opt some parts of Eastern and Black culture without much multicultural awareness. There was a lot of grunge and punk influence, as well as some leftover Beatnik flavor. I think of the movies Singles and Clerks as pretty emblematic of hipster culture.

The irony that hipsters tried to seem nonconformist in personal style, media choices, lifestyle, and ideas while totally conforming to the subculture rules is not lost on me now, but it was then. But, I suppose any subculture has its norms and rules. A true nonconformist would not adhere to any particular culture, whether it’s “sub-” or mainstream.

Fixed Gear Hipster, from Neatorama.com. And, in case you aren’t sure what “fixed gear is,” it refers to a type of bike favored by hipsters.

When I observe the more recent hipster culture, I see elements of ’90s hipsterism, but with some differences. The do-it-yourself vibe is there (think “artisan” everything), as is the desire to stand out from the mainstream. However, 2000s hipsters have appeared to me to embrace capitalism more by seeking out the eco-friendly product market, technology, product-heavy mustaches and beards, expensive haircuts, and fast fashion (and expensive indie fashion) with a hipster aesthetic. True, thrift stores and DIY fashion have been a part of neo-hipsterism as well, but a lot of the trappings of later hipsters are more commercial than the grungy stuff of the 1990s.

A 2000s hipster. From How to Spot a Hipster by Jeremy Cassar.

I guess I can’t judge myself or others too harshly for jumping on the hipster bandwagon. After all, most of us want to belong to something, and the way we present ourselves can serve as a shorthand to let others know what we’re about. That handlebar mustache says “I make my own pickles and like obscure bands–let’s go shop for vinyl together.” Trying to fit in to a subculture allows you to meet like-minded others who share some of your passions and dislikes.

Me trying to look hipster-y with short shag haircut, striped mock-neck shirt, cutoffs, black platform sandals, and scooter, while on vacation in 1996.
Another 1996 photo in which I am trying to be a hipster, this time with pixie cut, lariat necklace, chunky bracelet, t-shirt and black jeans, and cigar. Some craft beer or PBR was probably consumed this night.

So, if you are a former ’90s hipster, current hipster, wannabe hipster, or hipster hater, you do you. As for me, I don’t know if I fit in to any one subculture or scene and am not trying to. I know that I am no longer a hipster, if I ever was one. But I do still love me a cool PBR from time to time.